Being
by i.am.ruru-chan
Summary: “Are you still virgin?”Sakura froze when she realized what she had asked and convinced herself that it was only the alcohol talking“Well, how about you?”Sasuke finally asked not sure if he was ready to answer her question just yet.“you still a virgin?"
1. the inevitable

disclaimer :Naruto is not mine

:a sasusaku story enjoy....

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.:being:.

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The loud music pounded through the club. The noise that erupted throughout the crowd was capable of generating a headache. The dim lights and the crowded room didn't make it any easier to breathe either. At the moment, Sasuke regretted his agreement to assists such a plaice, but Naruto had insisted and lately he couldn't find it in himself to deny his friend. After all, Naruto had been the only one who seamed to accept him in his return. Sasuke also had to admit that with out Naruto by his side his welcome to Konaha would have been, slightly close to, none existent and he needed to be welcomed back … he had his reasons…

Sasuke scanned the booth he was sitting at absentmindedly. There was Shikamaru and Neji, Choji, Shino and Kiba, Gaara and Lee next to them and Naruto next to him, seven of them in total. Sasuke began to play with his drink, paying little attention to the guys and their conversation... specially Naruto's loud mouth. Sasuke tapped his drink rather unsettled. What was the point of it all ? It was not like he had come necessarily to hang out or talk to anyone. He didn't really talk to anyone except Kakashi and Naruto and some times Sakura.

"Tsk" Sasuke hissed, more or less frustrated with himself and how the situation was turning out. The guys where making a bigger ruckus, too. He lifted his glass filled half way with heavy liquor and took a small sniff. He frowned, what exactly was he doing? He didn't even like to drink.

"yo-oo Sa-ku-ra-chan!" Naruto brought Sasuke's attention back to the group who had been joined by the group of girls, which included Tenten, Ino, Hinata, and Sakura her self. He noted that the girls greeted the guys in their own respective ways. Ino greeted every one with a wide and confident grin, Tenten waived enthusiastically, Hinata bowed sheepishly and Sakura smiled with a small hi. Except to him; for him, Sakura had a forced and broken smile

Sasuke involuntarily cringed when he noticed how she only greeted Naruto with a delicate kiss on the cheek. Not that it bothered him. It was only his curiosity. Ever since his return, he had noticed that Sakura and Naruto were rather… close, but he wondered if there was any more meaning to what he saw. Sasuke felt a knot tie in his stomach; there was something about that thought.

"Sasuke?" Sasuke looked up to find that Sakura was standing in front of him now.

"hn?"

"I asked if it's ok to take the stool next to yours" Sakura stated, this time Sasuke looked around to find that everyone had managed to disappear. Sasuke responded with a small "aa" and Sakura carefully took the stool next to him. She ordered her self a round of shots.

Sasuke stole a quick glance at Sakura and then looked back at his drink. He wondered why the knot in his stomach had suddenly turned to butterflies. Sasuke began to play with his glass when he realized that the feeling wasn't going away. He stared thoughtfully at his drink; maybe if he drank it, the funny feeling in his stomach would subside…so he did.

Sakura sat quietly next to him waiting for her drinks to be served and when they did she sighted and downed one of the shots.

"So it's been about a week, right?" Sakura tried to initiate a conversation, "How does it feel to be off parole?"

Sakura heard Sasuke snerk. It was such a joke really. There was no theoretical difference. He was still not allowed to assist in missions and his every action was still being monitored, just not that close.

"Right… stupid question" Sakura quietly scold herself before she frowned and downed another shot, this time burning a little. She sighted and looked around the club. Somewhere in a distant corner she could see Kiba and Shino making quick passes on some cute girls. It came in no surprise to her and she stared at them thoughtfully for a moment before moving on. Choji wasn't far off from Shino and Kiba and he seemed to be doing pretty well with the two girls he had his arms wrapped around of. On some dark corner she was able to spot Neji frantically making out with an all too wanting Tenten.

'Heh' Sakura inwardly snorted. ''_We're just friends'_ she says, that's what I call friends with benefits…' she mused to herself before she turned her attention to the dance floor where she quickly spotted Ino and Shikamaru dancing dangerously close to each other.

"stupid Ino." Sakura whispered under her breath.

"come again?" Sakura had unintentionally gotten Sasuke's attention. She turned to him and looked at what could be his third glass of liquor. She also noticed the rosy-ness of his cheeks, indicating his none existent soberness.

"It was nothing" she finally said and turned her attention back to Ino and Shikamaru. Actually it wasn't just _nothing_. She knew exactly what was going on and she knew exactly what Ino was whispering into Shikamaru's ear at that exact moment and also why he was suddenly dragging her out the doors with that lustful look on his face…

'It's going to be one of those nights again…' Sakura thought to her self but it was nothing she opposed or approved of in particular. She was simply worried. Ino had confessed to her that her relationship with Shikamaru was undefined and complex. It was not that there was any love between them or anything of the sort, but there was definitely attraction. She told her that the first time she'd had sex with Shikamaru, had just sort of… happened. Ino also confessed to her that after that time neither one of them touched the subject. She also told her of how it had been awkward between them for a few days but soon they were finding each other in front of their door steps and they would do it over again and again until it became a pattern they couldn't break.

Sakura flustered up thinking of how she knew that Ino and Shikamaru where probably somewhere having sex at that very moment. She tried to clear her throat in an attempt to distract herself but soon found herself just downing another drink.

Sasuke sat silently next to Sakura and peeked every so often at the flustered girl. He was on his third glass of liquor and the tingly sensation in his stomach only seemed to grow stronger. He needed another distraction. He looked around hopeful to find anything that would help, but the only thing he found was Naruto and Gaara who seemed to be openly flirting with Hinata who was unfortunately trapped between them. He emitted a small growl and turned his attention back to his drink. What the hell was wrong with him?

Sakura stole another quick glance at Sasuke, but now, she was more aware of him and she questioned the reason why she had chosen the stool next to his in the first place. She felt uncomfortable but she knew it was not in a wrong way and there was something about that; it was making her think too much and feel… well, rather strange. She wondered if it was the alcohol or the atmosphere that was making it harder for her to breathe. She took in a long breath and exhaled it slowly.

"ne, Sasuke-kun?" she suddenly found her self asking. Sasuke turned to face her not sure why she had called him out.

"May I ask you something? I mean, it's a bit embarrassing and personal, but I've been curious about it for a long time." Sakura said and wondered why she had dared her self to ask him anything at all. Sasuke stared at her deep in thought. What on earth could she want to ask him? He watched her as she turned her attention to her drink and noticed how the rosy-ness of her cheeks was turning a deeper shade of pink.

Sakura waited for him to say anything, but when he didn't she took it as approval and got herself ready to ask him what she wanted.

"Are you still virgin?" Sakura froze when she realized what she had asked and convinced herself that it was only the alcohol talking, but that didn't change the fact that she was embarrassed. Meanwhile, Sasuke stared at her slightly wide eyed. The question had been completely unexpected and had caught him off guard. Exactly what was going through this girl's mind?

Sakura looked worried though. Her head hung low and she fiddled with her glass. Sasuke wondered how much his response would affect her.

"Well, how about you?" Sasuke finally asked ,not sure if he was ready to answer her question just yet. "Are you still a virgin?"

Sakura quickly turned to face him. Her eyebrows were closely knit together. Why was he asking her now? Sasuke took a long gulp from his drink and now regretted asking her anything, because now, he wondered why he had asked that and why he felt afraid to know her answer. Sakura turned to her drink when she felt a tight knot in her gut.

"Ne, that's not fair, Sasuke-kun…you need to answer my question first…" Sakura told him calmly and turned to face him again. Sasuke managed to make eye contact with her because he knew it had always been hard for him to truly ignore her. Her eyes that stared at him always begged him for something he couldn't understand and even though he had tried to ignore it, her eyes haunted him, therefore, drawing him to her in a mysterious way. Sasuke tried to clear his throat and sighted. This had turned weird but it was better to end it soon than to drag it on.

"Do you want the honest truth?" Sasuke found him self asking. Sakura hesitated, not too sure she wanted to know anymore, but she slightly nodded with a 'un'.

"I'm not" Sasuke quickly stated before he finished what was left of the burning liquid in the glass. Sakura's heart sank. Somehow, she felt like she had known that all along, so it didn't surprise her, but hearing it from him hurt her more than she had expected.

"Your turn" Sasuke said. Sakura hesitated for a minute. 'right.' she thought. She stared at her drink thoughtfully before she chugged it down. Maybe she would pass out before she had to answer him. Unfortunately she was still very aware of her surroundings and was still sitting up right.

'Shit…' she cursed in her head.

"Well?" Sasuke inquired. He almost couldn't believe that he was pushing on the subject and mentally kicked himself for doing so. Sakura lightly glared at the empty cup she was holding and slowly shook her head 'no'… and with a twist of her gut Sakura wondered why she was suddenly feeling like she had betrayed the only man she had never stopped loving.

Sasuke couldn't quite pinpoint what he was feeling, but he knew that that burning sensation settling on his chest was not normal. If he had been more familiar with jealousy, he would have realized that was precisely what he was feeling…

"Who was your first?" Sasuke asked. The question had been more out of impulse than interest and when he realized that, it was too late to take it back. Sakura turned to him rather surprised. Why would Sasuke ask her something like that? But she remembered that they had been drinking for a while now and most likely it was the alcohol taking over his senses. She knew it was definitely influencing her, because she didn't want to answer that question, and yet, her mouth was doing otherwise.

"my first time was with Naruto" she said. "don't get me wrong, we had been so confused at the time. We both agreed that the whole thing had been a huge mistake and we were better off as friends…"

"aa" Sasuke calmly acknowledged but he was glaring at his drink. He suddenly let out a snort. He wondered why they had kept that from him, but it was all a joke really.

"what's so funny" Sakura giggled wanting to know.

"nothing" he said, because really, it was all the alcohol's doing.

"Was he the only one?" Sasuke's question turned the atmosphere serious again, but she was not going to hesitate to answer anymore.

"no" she stated "there was my quick romance with Kiba a few years back, the pregnancy scare with Shino and some few locals on some crazy nights…" Sakura confessed. Sasuke didn't understand why he suddenly felt anger toward the dobe, Kiba, Shino, and any possible male or himself for getting angry at all. The thing was that he didn't even know why it bothered him or why he cared. As far as he was concern, Sakura could be with anyone she wanted and do what ever with who ever she wanted.. It shouldn't concern him… and yet he had a strong urge that it should, and that only confused him further.

"What about you, Sasuke?" Sakura broke him out of his thought.

"There were several who I didn't care for" he simply stated.

"Oh? Was there anything particular about them?" Sakura teased being completely influenced by the alcohol at this point. Sasuke knew the answer didn't really matter but he still stopped to think about it. He thought back at all the women he had been with,and now he realized something he had failed to notice before. It was hard to remember faces but he clearly recalled flickers of green eyes and different shades of pink hair… and that realization bothered him on its own.

"… no…" he finally said and watched Sakura acknowledged with simple upward tilt of her head. Sasuke could only blame the alcohol for making Sakura look so alluring at the moment.

-

"Why do we do it?" Ino asked as she traced soft circles on Shikamaru's bare chest. There was a small pause from his part.

"There is no point in resisting the inevitable" Shikamaru finally stated as he watched the smoke raise from the cigar he held loosely between his lips.

Ino removed the arm that he had carefully wrapped around her shoulders moments before. She gently kissed his chest before she looked up at him.

"The inevitable, you say?" Ino teasingly whispered as she flung her leg over and to the other side of Shikamaru. She was hovering above him now and leaned forward to take the cigar from him and extinguish it on the nearby ash tray. Shikamaru pulled her closer to kiss her, but she pulled away to teas him further. Shikamaru sat more upright to encircle his arms around her waist and trailed butterfly kisses on her flat belly.

"yeah, the inevitable…" he whispered before he pushed her down on the bed to pin her under him.

… really, it was inevitable.

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Ruru-chan: re-edited Oct 2009


	2. Mornings after sex

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.:chapter 2:.

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Tenten was mad again, Neji knew. He knew it was his fault too, he just didn't understand why. He softly massaged the cheek she had struck harshly just seconds before. He watched as she scoot herself further away from him on the booth and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Tenten…" Neji tried to reason with her, but she only 'hmpt' and looked away. That struck a nerve.

"For get this" he suddenly hissed getting up from the booth to walk away. It was not the first time she had done that to him. All the other times he had put up with it, but not any more. He'd had enough.

"Wait!" Tenten called out to him alarmed. "Don't go." She pleaded.

"dammit Tenten! I just don't get you. You're the one that does this to me, but when I want to, you always back out. I don't want to do this anymore." Neji spat, "In the end we're only friends, Right? So it really doesn't matter" he added coldly

"… see ya around Tenten." Neji said after a small thought. Tenten couldn't say anything back and just watched him make his way out of the club.

He was right though. They were only friends and she'd had no right to be mad at him because she had been the one who had started it. She knew it was only natural for him to want to do those kinds of things with her if she taunted him. It wasn't that she didn't want to though. She was just afraid to get hurt, because she was in love with him and didn't want things became awkward between them. She was afraid to lose him but it was too late now because she had screwed up.

-

Neji regretted ever dropping his guard to fall in love. It was complicated and tiresome. Not to mention that the woman he was in love with only loved to teas him. He felt pathetic. Their whole relationship was probably a joke to her, saying how they were only friends even thought they did things that normal friends wouldn't do. Neji punched the pillar he was passing, but not hard enough to break it, and then exited the club.

-

Sasuke and Sakura hadn't said a word to each other for a while now. The atmosphere had become awkward and somewhat uncomfortable. Sasuke glanced Sakura's way and regretted it soon after… there was something wrong with him. He was suddenly feeling hotter and he felt shortened of breath. Just looking at Sakura was triggering this desire to touch her and it irked him to not know why.

Sasuke was more than grateful when Naruto arrived to take Sakura to the dance floor. He needed to be away from her before he did anything stupid, but at the same time he was irritated. He was irritated at the way Sakura smiled at the dobe as he offered his hand. He was irritated at how Naruto could be so free and open with Sakura especially after all they had done in the past. He was irritated that he care and he was irritated because he didn't know why he cared.

Sasuke turned around on his stool to face the dance floor. Almost instinctively, his eyes sought out Sakura and couldn't help but glare at the scene in front of him. Naruto was dancing too close to her.

"Bastard" Sasuke hissed but soon stopped him self.

Why exactly was he angry? Sasuke turned to face the bar again and stared at his half empty cup of liquor. This burning substance was definitely to blame. It was playing funny games with his mind and body. Sasuke decided he didn't like it but still downed it after he stared at it some more.

Some moments later Sakura returned announcing that she was tired and felt like going home. It had only been an impulse when Sasuke reached out to her but he had realized too late to stop himself and pull his hand back. Sakura stopped to stare at him after she felt the small tug at her hand. She was burly managing to stand up straight.

"What is it?" she asked him as she swayed back and forth, her drunkenness clearly taking over. Sasuke thought for a minute wondering what had made him reach out for her in the first plaice, but he didn't quite know. He had to come up with something…

"I'll walk you home" he finally offered getting up from his stool. Sakura simply agreed with a small nod and they soon made their way out of the club.

-

Neji had been a fair distance from the club when the sound of running steps reached his ears. He waited until they reached him. He expected them to pass him but instead he felt as someone griped him from behind.

"Neji, I'm sorry!" Neji recognized Tenten voice and felt as she wrapped her arms around him. Neji stood still trying to figure out what was happening exactly. When the opportunity arrived, he managed to break the hold she had on him and turned around to face her.

"What are you doing Tenten?" he interrogated, griping a little tightly at her wrist. "Go home. I'm tired already I don't want to play these games with you anymore." He commanded before he threw her arms back at her. She looked at him a bit shocked before she fell defeated to the floor. He turned around to walk away.

"No" she said. As much as it pained him to ignore her, he left her there weeping, because it hurt a lot more to be toyed by the woman he loved.

-

Sasuke awoke the next morning with what felt like a headache. The kind of headache he had never experienced before. It took him a moment to orientate himself before he recognized his own living room. He shivered as the cold morning settled on his bare skin. He hadn't really made much of his semi-naked stated or the fact that he had slept on his living room couch for the first time in his life, until he heard a loud yelp emitted from his room. Suddenly the sinking feeling that something was wrong overcame him.

-

Sasuke made a dead sprint to his room. He flung his door open and stood in his door way ready with kunai in hand. He was shocked to find a very naked Sakura sitting on his bed. He blinked for a few seconds hoping that the scene in front of him wasn't real. Sasuke tried to scan the room. There was a mess everywhere. Objects where tipped over, several frames where crooked and clothes were scattered everywhere. It almost looked like a battle scene. Sasuke's gaze fell on Sakura again. She clutched at the bed sheets tightly with a concern stare directed at him.

Sasuke looked away scanning the room once more and began to put all the pieces together. Things weren't looking too good.

"Shit" he hissed. This couldn't be happening…

"Do you think we…?" Sakura trailed off, not really sure she wanted to finish that question.

Sasuke clutched at his pounding head. He couldn't remember.

"I'm not sure" he finally said.

Sakura couldn't remember anything either, but telling him that wasn't going to help them in any way. Sakura brought the bed sheets closer to herself, getting Sasuke's attention unintentionally. He noted several of the bruises marked on her exposed skin. The bluish reddish pigmentation of those marks made an evident contras to her pale skin, they almost looked painful. There were several nasty looking ones down her neck. Her wrist and arms were slightly bruised as well. He wondered if her legs were just as bruised. He didn't want to believe it, but he knew that he was most likely responsible for all those vicious marks that covered her body.

Sakura sat there and said nothing. She was very aware of Sasuke's gaze on her and was becoming more self conscious as the seconds passed. She stole a quick glance at Sasuke, paying good attention to his well build body. There was scarcely any mark on him, except for a small scar on the upper left part of his chest.

'So, he's not so perfect after all' she thought to her self but knit her eyebrow together when an unsettle feeling of deja vu overcame her, triggering a short memory.

She recalled being under Sasuke who was hovering over her, shirtless. He appeared to be panting in small huffs of shortened breath and looking rather heated. She had been panting herself but the small scar she spotted on the upper left part of his chest had caught her attention. She remembered she had whispered something similar to that as she traced that small scar with her thin finger before he attacked her neck which she accepted so willingly …and then, nothing.

She buried her face in her hands to hide her deep blush, because now she knew something had really happened. At the same time, she let out a long sight of frustration because she still could remember just how far they had gotten. Her body was aching all over and she had already noticed her bruised wrist, but none of those symptoms could reassure her of anything. It could mean anything at the moment.

"Why don't you change … then we'll try to sort this out …" Sasuke suggested getting her attention.

Sakura shook her head lightly in agreement and watched Sasuke as he exited the room not failing to notice the considerable scratch marks on his back … what exactly had happened between them?

-

Sasuke entered his bathroom quickly turning the faucet so he could splash his face with water. It was irritating not being able to remember anything but one thing was certain; he was almost sure they'd had sex last night… the question now was: how had they come to that?

-

Hinata was so grateful that stealth was her specialty. It was nearly sunrise and if her father found out she had been out all night she would have hell to pay. She took small quick steps across the corridor that led to her room. Making sure to make no noise, she reached and slid open the door. She was in the clear.

"Hinata?" she heard a voice say and felt her blood run cold

"Did you just get back?" Hinata let out a sight of relief. It was only Neji.

"shhh" she made a small gesture with her finger then motioned him to get closer and yanked him by his collar.

"Do you want to get me in trouble!?" she silently screamed. Neji flinched a little. He was still not used to this new side of Hinata. She'd had a great confidence booster in the resent years that it was almost scary. He sometimes wondered what had happened to that innocent and timid Hinata. Of course she still acted innocent in front of his uncle and the council of elders but behind their backs she had become such a sadist. She no longer had restrains.

"Hinata-sama, it would be troublesome if you are ever caught sneaking back in to the house like this. I would advice you to seas such activity in the future."

Hinata sighted and loosened her grip on him. "Shut up Neji-nii… there is nobody around you don't have to act so formal around me. Besides I just won't get caught." She said and smiled as she made her way to sit on her bed.

Neji wasn't sure when they had become so close where she would trust him enough that she could be her new self in front of him, but somewhere deep inside him that made him happy.

"So where were you this whole time?" he finally asked.

Hinata froze in panic again.

-

"Shikamaru? I'm leaving now." Ino announced as she put on the last garment of her clothing. She only herd a sleepy grunt emitted from the sleepy ninja but took it as reply before she exited the apartment door.

Shikamaru peeked open an eye to make sure she was gone before he allowed a small smile appear on his face. Mornings after sex with Ino were his favorite. He loved to pretend to sleep and watch her change as she hummed small tunes. He swore her beauty was just radiant at those moments… but it always ended too quickly he frowned at that thought.

He slowly sat up in bed and emitted a long sight… Just how long would they be able to do this? What exactly was their relationship? Shikamaru let out a frustrated grunt. He wasn't too sure how happy he was with the situation but it was too early to think about such a complicated topic, too. So he slid back under the covers to fall a sleep again.

-

"_Gaara… if you are not serious about Hinata-chan you shouldn't tease her."_

"_... I -"_

Naruto let out a long sight as he tossed and turned in his bed. That scene playing in his head hadn't let him sleep the entire night. He wondered what had made him say that to Gaara. What had he been thinking? But what troubled him more was Gaara's response…

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a/n: ohoho, I like where this is going… don't you?

Well I hope you liked it. Review so I can update sooner

Ruru-chan out!

re-edited Oct 2009


	3. dangerous thoughts

Chapter 3 dangerous thoughts

please go read the re-written version of this story under **BEING rewritten** to read this chapter.

thank you, and sorry for any inconvenience.


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